Burning
by Rose Thorne
Summary: One of Xellos' pranks goes... well, exactly how he wanted it to! Total crack. Xellos/Zelgadis.


**Burning**

by Rose Thorne

Disclaimer: _Slayers_ is owned by a bunch of folks who aren't me. I'm borrowing them for my perverse pleasure, much as Xellos borrows emotions for his.

* * *

What follows is one of the scenes that was sadly deleted from Slayers Next, to the disappointment of both voice actors—who had been rather amused by the idea since they'd worked together on similar radio dramas over the years—and the writer. You are one of the few to watch it since the studio quashed its release, refusing even to put it on an outtake roll, citing how racy the scene is. This is one scene on the Slayers Black Tape.

...

It was bad enough that Xellos insisted on popping up and burning every scrap of the Claire Bible that Zelgadis was able to recover. Even worse when he played pranks, like his (thankfully) failed attempt to get Zel to crossdress for the Brass Rackets tournament—though, admittedly, Lina had gotten him to later on in Femille, so it didn't really matter anymore. Or made him dress up like a plushie. Or any number of other jokes the sadistic Mazoku had played.

But when the bastard had decided it'd be a great idea to nick his clothing while he was in the bath, he'd had enough. He was just lucky that this particular inn provided pajamas, and that Xellos had neglected to steal either Gourry's clothing or the pajamas the blond had set out for himself. And while the blue clashed terribly with his skin, he wasn't going to complain if it meant he didn't have to go around naked until he found and confronted Xellos.

Which, incidentally, wasn't difficult at all.

He found the trickster lounging on his bed when he went up to retrieve his sword.

Naked.

(This is believed to be one reason for the censorship, full frontal male nudity widely considered unacceptable—though this seems to be changing, which may have prompted the DVD's release.)

It really should have taken Zel less time to look away, and he argued to himself that he was simply fascinated that the carpet matched the drapes. And, really, why wouldn't it, when Xellos could manipulate his physical form at will?

That thought was, of course, a mistake, leading inevitably to thoughts of other types of manipulation the attractive trickster might perform.

Thoughts that Xellos, being a manipulative being of pure evil as well as a sexy bastard, had intended to inspire, naturally. And with him stretched out on the bed in such a provocative way, they were really quite inevitable.

"Oh, my," Xellos murmured. "I hadn't taken Gourry's clothing into account. What a shame."

The pout on his face somehow made him more attractive, and it seemed to Zel that if he didn't do something to get Xellos the hell away from him, he'd wind up in a situation he might very much regret.

"Fireball!"

It was the natural solution, but not one that actually did any good. In fact, it almost had the opposite effect, framing Xellos in a light that made him appear even more attractive, and filling the air with heat that didn't really help cool Zelgadis down at all.

The fact that it set the building on fire should also be noted.

From the amused, seductive grin on Xellos' face, it was clear that he'd taken this possibility into account. In fact, just about the only thing not on fire was the bed.

Naturally, that was exactly where Zelgadis found himself. He tried to tell himself that it was only to avoid the fire, and that he just wasn't going to let Xellos get away without answers, but that certainly didn't explain what happened next.

With that naked form writhing under him like silk, he couldn't remember what answers he'd wanted, or bring himself to mind that Xellos had stolen his clothes.

The screen, naturally, fades to black to give them some measure of privacy, but the voice actors were rather enthusiastic about providing auditory evidence of what occurred.

It wasn't entirely clear on any account, aside, we assume, from the two individuals who are refusing to talk—one of whom will only say "Sore wa himitsu desu" with a rather self-satisfied grin, and the other who will cast a spell at anyone who dares ask—whether the ensuing explosion was from the fire reaching the meager store of wine in the inn's cellar, or if it was from the release of over twenty episodes of painfully-stored unresolved sexual tension.

They were found later in the charred remains of the inn, on a miraculously unburned bed, in a well-sexed pile of post-coital bliss—after which Zelgadis didn't show his face for weeks and Xellos' smug grin actually increased the barometric pressure for the diameter of about a mile, depending on geography and meteorological conditions.

...

The resulting fandom outcry from the showing of this particular cut scene was heard in every dimension.

The studio has since claimed that they were not associated with the Black Tape and that it is an unauthorized fan-made video, but are unable to explain how the fans not only employed the voice actors but also the studio artists for its production.

The questions are still unresolved. The artists have cited an unknown non-disclosure agreement. A certain voice actor's only comment on the incident was a character-appropriate grin and "Sore wa himitsu desu." The other voice actor has been unavailable for interview.

Some fans have speculated that they are responsible for the scene, but there has been no confirmation of this rumor.

* * *

I don't know why I'm in the mood to write crack-fic lately, but apparently I am!

Written for the Springkink X prompt: Slayers, Xellos/Zelgadis: release of UST as destructive force, sex in a burning building - He doesn't care if the building is on fire. He's not letting Xellos go until he gets some answers.


End file.
